soup

kid: you ever put thumbtacks on your shoes?
me: yeah.
kid: always make sure you carry a spoon.
me: to get ‘em off?
kid: yeah.

it seems like it would be fun to chronicle something.

i wonder if i could do one of these a day…

this one completely puts the one below it to shame. eh, it was kind of an obligatory post, anyway… BUT THIS POST! OH, MY GOD, THIS POST!

bob: hi, i’m here for the job interview.
rob: but you’re a g-g-g-g-ghost!
bob: right, like i said, i’m here for the job interview.

$365 to fix the fan belt on my car. that’s:

$1 for every day of the year
1 surfboard
a lot of scandinavian furniture
plane tickets, anywhere but here
a lifetime supply of banging your mom
something i can easily afford
$60/hr for labor
15%, or double the tax at any restaurant worth its fucking salt

so i went the other way after my last song (“the world keeps falling apart”), which would be this way:

“the lightning hardly strikes the land”.

i’m saving consistency for my 50th wedding anniversary.

women don’t like to tell you their age, but they’ll never forgive you if you forget their birthday? guys, you with me?