soup

comic #54, if you’re keeping track.

i’m not going to do a christmas bit on here because daniel did that, like, a month ago…

anyway, i’ve been writing songs, and it’s been fun:

yeah, mutts
her mattress

if you want to see me live, don’t hold your breath. i love you all.

for x-mas this year, i got myself some trip-hop: “the promise land”

i promise i’m not racist, and also merry x-mas!

p.s. i’m sorry this isn’t that funny… or maybe it is, and you just haven’t given it enough time to sink in yet!

ronnie has been
in love with jenny miller
since the second grade.

throughout adolescence,
he had bitten his tongue,
suppressed the unsuppressable,
denied the obvious,
gone stag to the prom,
and even lied right to jenny miller’s face about it

until there was
nothing to bite,
nothing to suppress,
nothing to deny,
nothing to go stag to,
and, ultimately, no one to lie to…

that whole bad trip
had left ronnie feeling–
you know that feeling
where you open the dryer,
and it feels like everything’s tumbling?

anyway, it had also
helped him grow up to be the perfect man–
well, the perfect man
for women who read magazines.

now, twenty-five years later,
after a chance meeting,
ronnie is waiting
outside jenny’s apartment,
ready to take her to dinner,
feeling uncomfortable in his
no-contact jacket.

at the restaurant,
he orders lobster tails,
fresh from maine;
for the lady, he orders a glass of water,
with a little salt.

they talk for hours
and hours
and hours
and hours…

and finally go back to her place
to talk.

laying on jenny miller’s couch,
ronnie finds out that
it wasn’t the girl
from his childhood
that he was in love with,
but who he always thought
she would one day become.

meg: i almost hit a little black kitten in the middle of the road tonight, but it turned out to be part of a tire.

ken: wait, how could you almost hit a kitten if there never was a kitten?

meg: just because it was part of a tire doesn’t make it any less of a kitten, ken.

i ran a red light, just barely.
the mail came early:
i got a ticket

and a photo.

you know i kept it
right next to the picture
that’s folded in half.

you thought i knew you…

but no one will ever know you
because you tell the same stories
to everyone you meet.
—————————————————–
ALSO, A FEW MORE writing things.

some pretty intelligent british scientists and i have been doing some pretty interesting work lately in liverpool and here in the states concerning the differences in how men and women’s brains function. look at the following picture constructed using “*” symbols. what do you see? shout out the answer!

then, scroll down to see the results.

***************************
*** ******************** ***
**** ****************** ****
***** **************** *****
****** ************** ******
******* ************ *******
******** ********** ********
********* ******** *********
********** ***** ***********
*********** *** ************
************ * *************
************* **************
***************************

answers:
- a man would see a “V” shape
- a woman wouldn’t visit this website

good luck disproving my theory, guys!