soup

official: more comics soon. not today, though, because i had to do laundry and why did i write thi

laundry day, part one
it’s one of those things i’ll never understand:
why people, people who can afford better,
feel they have to hold onto that one pair of socks
with holes in them–
the pair they’ve had for years,
usually resigned now to hibernating safely
at the bottom of the sock drawer, until…

i know, because i’ve done it, too,
that it’s because they think that
when they run out of clean
(fully capable of fulfilling their purpose) socks,
they will have these bastard-socks,
usually mismatched and discolored,
to use as a last resort–
to have that one magical pair
that can suspend laundry day,
even if only for another twenty-four hours.
but, the obvious thing to ask is,
why not just own more socks?
why do we need the symbolism?

laundry day, part two
it’s the same thing with underwear.
there’s that saying that
if you date a woman long enough
you’ll eventually see her in her–
it’s a dumb name,
i don’t even want to say it but–
granny panties.

granny panties don’t just beg the question of
why keep them around?
but also why did you buy them in the first place?
even better: why does your grandmother wear them?
how does every woman wind up with
a pair of humongous, unflattering panties
that couldn’t shape an ass if their life depended on it?
i know there’s a reason,
i just honestly have no idea what it is.

laundry day, part three
the only thing i can come up with,
as i ball my nineteen pairs of socks,
warm from the dryer,
working my way up to the pair that has seen better days,
granny panties staring up at me,
is that maybe it’s healthy for all of us to have that one day,
every [insert number of pairs of socks you own,
or just total socks if you’re an amputee] days,
where we really just don’t give a shit
about our socks or our underwear.

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