soup

radio, etc. nowhere
i’m more comfortable singing
in my car
when i’m surrounded by friends,
but they need to be people i trust,
in whose company i can allow myself
to reach for those high notes that,
despite my straining,
will probably remain out of reach.

i find comfort in having companions
to practice my runs with,
my falsetto,
my baritone,
to work on hand movements,
finger wags,
head nods,
shoulder leans,
catchy lyrics,
guitar licks,
professional-quality drum approximating,
and my party rap guy persona.

to do this alone would be to submit myself,
to throw myself,
at the mercy of the person or people
stuck next to me in traffic,
and their judgements are harsher
than the studio executives
who return my demo
WITHOUT EVEN LISTENING TO IT.

so, i’ve found that
in a car filled to the
brim with my best buddies,
working on routines,
singing and laughing at mistakes
before correcting them
and punishing the guilty party,
i don’t get the stares.
if anything, onlookers are envious!
oh, my, what fun!
what a well-oiled machine!
they’re referring to usssssssssssssssss!

this heavy on my mind
and driving to work
with my best friends–
we’re singing our hearts out…
to dolly parton, of all people!
there’s nothing gay about it.
one of my friends is a woman,
and we are singing “just because i’m a woman”
as a duet.
trees are passing by to the beat of our hearts,
and, thank god, we are alive.

but it will always be clear to me
that i’m not going to be OK.

not all good days
are turning points.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 24th, 2008 at 8:16 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.