[12:04] JT: got news?
[12:04] ts: BREAKING
[12:04] ts: EXCLUSIVE
[12:04] ts: THIS JUST IN
[12:05] ts: no
[12:05] ts: oh wait the guy next to me just farted
[12:05] JT: heh
[12:06] ts: now i’m thinking it’s someone’s lunch
[12:06] JT: it usually is
[12:06] ts: they’re telling me it’s called THE LUNCH SPECIAL
rain stick
i have a new boss.
i’m supposed to eventually adjust
to having her.
i spent the day holding a three-hole punch
over the trash can
and rotating it clockwise.
i did this until my hand got tired.
then, i switched hands.
if i was doing it right,
it’d sound like a rain stick,
which means it wouldn’t sound like rain at all.
one time, i saw a woman demonstrate
how to use one of those,
but she didn’t know what she was talking about.
citrus
if a tree falls in the woods,
i want to know what you knew
and when you knew it.
rocky colavito
a good friend of mine died last night.
he was eighty-four years young old.
his last words to me were pretty ambiguous
because i guess he figured
there wasn’t anything
that needed explaining, blah.
he said,
“i’ve left the party because i wasn’t having any fun.”
every morning up until today, i’ve gone for a walk.
today, i’m jogging.
i’m only doing this for one reason.
you see,
when i used to watch people running
past my window–
younger or sometimes, hopefully, my age,
i’d wonder
how they could keep it all so together.
with good reason,
there’s a sudden, sharp pain in my side and in my chest.
it hurts and it doesn’t,
but i’m beyond the window.
perhaps, i can even make it as far as helen’s now,
so i can tell her how–
presents
every christmas,
my grandmother gives me a toy.
usually, it’s inexpensive or secondhand,
and, if i’m lucky,
it’s something she’s made herself.
when she calls,
i make sure to say thank you
and mean it.
that is my gift to her,
pretending that i haven’t grown up completely,
that there’s still something between us
that doesn’t have to change.
reasons to be used to fire me:
-uses paintbrush to make comics for his blog
-blogs
-doesn’t work
-isn’t working out
-doesn’t work out enough
-works through problems out loud
-has personal problems
i’ll have what she’s having
“let’s go out tonight,” i say.
“okay. same place?”
we’ve never been able
to make up at dinner,
but it’s always been a start.
“if you don’t say anything,
i’m assuming same place.”
our problem, i think, is that
we both operate under the flawed logic
that we’re all right
as long as we both admit
we were wrong.
“same place.”
“it’s on me.”
because i owe her that much, at least.
maybe i owe her for everything.
it’s like i’m brian de palma,
and she’s my hitchcock.
wait– no, she’s not.
that’s a terrible analogy
(life is terrible).
i meet up with her after she gets off work.
as we’re talking, all i can think about
are the funny things i’m going to write
on the bathroom wa[15:10] ts: yesssssssssssssssss
[15:10] ts: yeeeeesss
[15:10] ts: yes
[15:10] ts: yes!
[15:10] ts: yessssssssssssss
[15:10] ts: oh yessssssss!
[15:10] ts: oh
[15:10] ts: yeeeeesssssssssssssssssss
[15:11] ts: i’ll have what she’s having
[16:49] ts: this sucks
[16:49] JT: yeah
[16:49] ts: i’ve live
[16:49] JT: LOL
conservation
do you have any idea
how much paper is wasted
each year
on legal mumbo jumbo?
uhm, all the soup pages have disappeared. i’m not sure why that happened or if any of the videos, etc. were still working anyway. any thoughts?